I feel like this all went downhill in ‘10. You lose things you used to be able to do. You start to eliminate events, gatherings, anything really because of that one fear at the back of your mind. You don’t realise it, well at least I didn’t in ‘10 that it does have lasting effects. Now 4 years later I don’t even know how it escalated out of control. Slowly things have been getting better but it’s just been so long I might just have forgotten how. This seems abstract but it’s not. I can’t say much because I don’t think I will ever come to a stage where I can talk about it. Do you ever recover is more the question to be asked. Somedays I’d like to say yes but then there are others that just bitch slap me in the face. 4 long years, but still it’s at the back of my mind. You will never fade away, I hear your whispers everyday.